On Suffering and the Love of God
All of my readers know what it is to suffer. We all pass through difficult seasons—physical, emotional, or spiritual, and sometimes all three at once. When I compare my own recent trial to the tragic losses others have faced, I hardly dare to call it a trial at all. Still, something has taken place in this season that feels worth sharing. In March 2025, I was hospitalized with severe rhabdomyolysis (rhabdo)—a condition in which muscle tissue rapidly breaks down, releasing harmful proteins into the bloodstream. My creatine kinase (CK) levels, which indicate muscle damage, were quite high—over 60,000, far beyond the normal range. In the months since, I’ve had two more episodes and a series of related symptoms that have led to repeated hospital visits. I’ve been told that it isn’t a matter of if but when another episode will occur. For reasons not yet understood, my muscles no longer recover properly after exertion. I can’t spend much time on my feet, must limit any kind of exertio...