My Greatest Fear


 

* If I could live anywhere I would choose a place like this, somewhere among the meadows and wildflowers of the Swiss Alps.  Ever since I first read Treasures of the Snow by Patricia St. John and Heidi by Johanna Spyri, I have thought that that life was about as good as it gets this side of heaven.   But I have learned with Paul "in whatsoever state I am therewith to be content."  And I have discovered that there is a heaven on earth more beautiful and more satisfying than anything this world can afford.  That 'heaven' is far more wondrous than any of the sights or scenes which these eyes can see.  The heaven of which I speak is the favour of God.  It is the nearness of the Saviour whose lovingkindness is better than life, and under whose wings the saints rejoice.  That heaven is the joy of being in the fire with One like the Son of God.  

If I had a cabin and a home in the Alps I would be afraid of losing it.  But I have found something many times better.  It should not surprise you, then, to learn it is that that I most fear losing.


My greatest fear is that we will go back to normal.

When we first went back into lockdown (at the end of December) I knew we would not be obeying, and I felt fear. The first time I encountered the police in January again I felt fear. But in the last couple of weeks I have known something different. Instead of fear of the authorities, fear of penalties, fear of prison, fear of being separated from my family, I have felt joy, exceeding joy. I can't remember a time in my life so precious. The sense of the Lord's favour and smile has been more precious to me than life. Along with that joy has come a supernatural boldness. The anxiety and the fear are completely gone.

But now I know another kind of 'fear' - a fear that this will all come to an end, things will go back to 'normal' and this precious season of visitation will be past. I fear that this opportunity for blessing will have been missed by the majority of pastors and churches. I fear that the churches will go back to their lukewarm condition. And I can't help but fear that I will miss the blessing of further suffering for Jesus.

I understand some will see this is an unhealthy martyr's complex. Let them think what they want. I actually know now why the early Christians longed for martyrdom and sometimes even put themselves in hazard's way that they might die a martyr's death. The latter went too far. But I understand now the sentiment.

I didn't understand before, but now I do. I knew I was supposed to rejoice and be exceeding glad, but I know now its more than possible... indeed, the two go hand in hand. Persecution for righteousness' sake brings with it heavenly blessings most Western Christians know nothing about.

So, no, I am not personally afraid of prison. Part of me wishes for it. I have even considered abandoning the legal fight (though I think it is my duty to contend as far as I can in the courts).

Truth is, I would rather go with Jesus into the prison than enjoy my freedom without Him. And I have this sure confidence that if I should be locked up even briefly, that there the Lord will commune with me and I with Him... and I wouldn't give that opportunity away for anything in the world.

And I expect, too, that there I would have the opportunity to gather a congregation of prisoners to praise Him. It may be there are 'unreached' in those places waiting for pastors and elders to come and preach to them.  And who am I to say no to such a privilege?

Christians, let us not be praying worldly prayers. Let us not be asking for an end to lockdowns. Let us not be asking for an end to persecution. Let us instead be asking for the kingdom to spread, for churches to be revived, and for God to be glorified.  And let us remember that simple lesson we learned as children. "Trust and obey for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus but to trust and obey."  

I learned today of a brother in Iran who has spent 7 years in prison for Christ.  He is in court today, and his message to the Church was simple (and instructive): 

"I urge Christians not to pray for my justification in court.  Instead, pray for the glory of the name of our God for whom I will be in court tomorrow."





Comments

  1. NvdWFebruary 11, 2021 at 1:22 AM

    Dear brother,

    I would affirm much of what you say, and would desire to have such a measure of faith and love for Christ as you profess to enjoy.

    Yet, I am wary of some things you write. I do think there is a danger of a "martyr's complex", and would see such as being in conflict with duties required by the 6th commandment. I also would wonder, when you speak of "worldly prayers" for deliverance from oppression, where you find a place for the many prayers for deliverance in Scripture (especially in the Psalms)? Ought David, or Israel, have been asking for deliverance from their enemies? What about Paul in 2 Thessalonians 3:1-2? Yes, prayer for opportunity to glorify God in the preaching of His Word, but also "that we may be delivered from unreasonable and wicked men".

    "Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established. Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil" - Proverbs 4:26-27.

    With love in Christ,
    Neil van der Wel

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SteveFebruary 18, 2021 at 6:41 AM

      Thank you brother. I appreciate your comments. I do agree with you that it is not worldly to pray for deliverance. My statement about worldly prayers should have been qualified.

      Delete

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